Hammy must go

[quality control]

Has Hammy got a picture of the manager caught inflagrante with a bovine creature?
How else does he get a jersey every week?
He is without doubt the worst professional player I have ever seen. Combine the mobility of a grand oak with the grace of an elephant on roller skates and we have Hammy. I know the local game can be a bit blood and thunder but with Hammy it's thud and blunder.
He has to go.

[The 1995 Club]

We have given this topic great consideration and under the circumstances we have no other option but to side with the quality control.

1995

[Nemesis]

Anyone who has watched the aforesaid imposter in a football shirt would have no option but to concur either.